so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
