How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
