How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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