his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My ATM looks so different sober.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
