Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
