Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
