Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
