I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
