he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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