Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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