The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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