I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
