I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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