You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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