K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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