Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
