Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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