there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
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He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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