We won't sleep together?
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
