i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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