There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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