That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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