Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
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