He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
