She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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