It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Did you pee in the oven last night??
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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