**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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