Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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