piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
