Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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