I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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