Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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