He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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