is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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