nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
