I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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