im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
