Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Drake has all the answers
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
