I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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