i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
