Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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