He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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