dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
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Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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