I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
