3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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