The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize