If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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