i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize