I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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