i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
