I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COCAINE IS GR8
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize