i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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