it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
