sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
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Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
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I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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