dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
