Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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