after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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