No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
