My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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