You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
