I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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